When you are commanded by mortals to play a game about listing the ten not so divine emotions directed against the not so divine creations called men I wonder if a woman is allowed to bend some rules. You see I wouldn’t have played this game but when a Dimwit, who leaves a comment in my blog saying he’s tagged me and is dimwitted enough to forget to mention my name in the list of the ten names he tagged, I have no choice but to humour the poor chap. And then there was Sandeep too and Achillees who also decided to rope me into this hate fest. Guys, there is nothing I hate in a man:-{ So instead, in this unethical Decalogue of mine...here are a few of my favourHATE men:

1.       Adam, the First Gentleman! I hate him because apart from clay feet he also had a clay mind. He not only blindly obeyed the First Lady but also in the process of impressing her, gorged down the apple in such a hurry, that it got stuck in his throat. Now most of his clones still carry the Adam’s apple.

2.       Hitler- I hate him because the guy always kept saying…’I hate juice, I hate juice, I hate juice’. Is he crazy or something? I mean, how can one not like juice?

3.       Aamir Khan- I hate him because now I no longer wonder about the twinkle twinkle little stars. Now I know that they don’t shine up above the sky so high, like a diamond in the sky but are very much down to earth and amongst us. With the making of Taare Zameen Par, he had to go and shatter my childhood myth of marvels.

4.       Beethoven- I hate him because if not for him I would have become the biggest advocate of silence. But he proved me wrong a long time ago. Simply by presenting to the world the loudest silence in history!

5.       Mahatma Gandhi- I hate him because whenever I’ve followed his advice of See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Say no Evil or Non-violence or Non-cooperation, instead of praise all I got was a pathetic glance from people. A look that sanctioned an immediate ticket to the nearest lunatic asylum. 

6.       Sherlock Holmes- I hate him because, because…..well, just because…*shrug* Go figure it out. After all, it’s elementary, my dear readers.

7.       Himesh Reshamiya- I hate him because he is a big plagiarist. My brother always said that I had a voice like Mukesh, because I sang so beautifully with my nose. And now this man, who probably gargles his snout everyday, comes along and is trying to copy my style.

8.       George Bush- I hate him because he purposely grows weeds in his garden. And then he stomps around the entire lawn pretending to pull them out. Even if it means plucking out thousands of innocent flowers with it. 

9.       Shakespeare- I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! Which writer wouldn’t? All writers hate other writers who write better than them.   

10.   My Daddy- I hate him because it was NOT for the world but for him alone that I meticulously gathered the remnants of some scattered Memories. It was for him alone that I laboriously bound them into a fragrant Bouquet. But when I finally decided to present it, he wasn’t even there to receive. 

Rules: A few sentences that by now probably the whole of Sulekha has learnt by rote.

More Important: Some Ekta Bhandari started it! Bah! Happy Choco? 

Even more Important: Guys, please don’t have so many contests and competitions simultaneously. I can only write so much. I can only read so much. I can just about comment on so many. And I’m not used to winning so many times.

Termination of the Hate Fest. No more tagging. Therefore all those who come here, whether man, woman or child…consider yourself gagged. 

                                                                                                 Nargis Natarajan